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Burrito rant (very coarse language)

Burrito rant (very coarse language)
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  • Burrito rant (very coarse language)

    Post #1 - December 20th, 2018, 10:08 am
    Post #1 - December 20th, 2018, 10:08 am Post #1 - December 20th, 2018, 10:08 am
    This is from 2013 so it may already have been discussed here but I found its extreme vitriol bemusing . . .

    Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

    Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:
    Why don't you take these profiteroles and put them up your shi'-ta-holes? --Jemaine & Bret

    There's a horse loose in a hospital --JM

    That don't impress me much --Shania Twain
  • Post #2 - December 20th, 2018, 10:11 am
    Post #2 - December 20th, 2018, 10:11 am Post #2 - December 20th, 2018, 10:11 am
    Haven't even read it yet, but I love it.
    When I get to the inevitable pocket of nothing but sour cream and tortilla....grrrrr.
    This is gonna hit home for me, I know it.
    We cannot be friends if you do not know the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip.
  • Post #3 - December 20th, 2018, 6:17 pm
    Post #3 - December 20th, 2018, 6:17 pm Post #3 - December 20th, 2018, 6:17 pm
    Jeez...I must lead a charmed life: I can't recall having a malformed burrito in the way that that writer describes...perhaps ever. I've had them lose steam toward the end because it's almost impossible to guarantee everything in every bite from end to end, but I gotta say, if I did get one put together that way, I'd probably feel at least as pissy as he did and would likely rant the same way (if not as eloquently).

    Thanks for sharing!

    (PS: The "eat it with a fork" follow-up nearly brought tears to my eyes. Made my day!)
    Gypsy Boy

    "I am not a glutton--I am an explorer of food." (Erma Bombeck)
  • Post #4 - January 1st, 2019, 10:11 pm
    Post #4 - January 1st, 2019, 10:11 pm Post #4 - January 1st, 2019, 10:11 pm
    It is a valid point.
    But, having stated that; it depends on where and how you eat the burrito.
    If you're carrying the burrito to another venue {such as the Welles Park Beer Fest, or the taproom at Metropolitan Brwg.}, there is where you are most likely to eat the burrito from end - to - end.
    But, as this photograph from LTHF GNR Taqueria El Asadero reveals Image, in many instances (including photographing the meal :!:), one is cutting the burrito in half and eating it from the insides out. In which case, it is going to be a different dining experience. [Bunky - think about this. The restaurant gave you both green and red salsa. Clearly, it expects you to pour it inside somehow. Are you going to take that first bite with no salsa?]
    The links you can use, without the fluff, or sales pitch: http://208.84.112.25/~pudgym29/bookmark4.html
  • Post #5 - January 2nd, 2019, 8:22 am
    Post #5 - January 2nd, 2019, 8:22 am Post #5 - January 2nd, 2019, 8:22 am
    pudgym29 wrote:[Bunky - think about this. The restaurant gave you both green and red salsa. Clearly, it expects you to pour it inside somehow. Are you going to take that first bite with no salsa?]

    What's the problem? You can certainly pour a little salsa on the top "cap" of tortilla.
    And even if you cut it in half to eat, are you going to take alternating bites from each side? You'll look like a maniac. And still you won't get a good mixture -- odds are you're biting into all sour cream and rice, then all beans and tomatoes, then all cheese and onions, then finally lettuce and meat.
    What is patriotism, but the love of good things we ate in our childhood?
    -- Lin Yutang

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