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Starting in 2 days, one of my partners at work will be eating nothing but sausage pizza for 31 days. The reason? We have a substantial bet and I say that he cannot possibly do it. After professing his love for pizza and constantly bragging that he could eat it everyday for the rest of his life, I challenged him to put his money where his mouth is, for one mere month.

He must eat sausage pizza -- and only sausage pizza -- for every meal during the month of October. The pizza must contain crust, sausage and cheese. Sauce is optional, as are other ingredients. For our purposes, pepperoni and gyros count as sausage. Ground meat does not. All toppings, with the exception of lettuce on Taco Pizzas (yes, he loves them) and arugula and prosciutto (he has no idea what either of these are), must be cooked into the pizza. 'Pizzas' on french bread, pita bread or tortillas do not count. Pizza-flavored Hot Pockets (which he also loves) do not count. I figure that some of these pizza variants may be more filling and less healthy for him but in making them off limits, I wanted to cut off the convenience factor for him. Of course, he cannot have dessert, chips or side dishes of any kind. No salads, no cereals, no slaw, either. Smoothies, milkshakes and shakes of any kind are also grounds for disqualification, since we have decided that they are more food than beverage. He cannot drink a glass of milk instead of eating pizza. Any significant caloric intake must be pizza. Period.

I figure the first and last weeks will be easiest for him. If I'm going to win this bet, it'll be during the middle portion of the month when he starts to feel bad physically and he gets really tired of the pizza treadmill. Just to psych him out, I made him watch Super Size Me last week but he seems unfazed by it. He's a fairly fit guy who does exercise regularly, so he does have that going for him. I completely trust him and know that he wouldn't lie about this, so even though I will not be with him for every meal, I know it'll be on the up and up. He plans on charting what he eats at each meal, just so he can look back on it at the end. I hope to share some or all of that data here.

Updates, as they happen . . .

=R=

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I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

Is he allowed to make a smoothie or a milkshake out of a sausage pizza?

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-Josh

An amuse bouche at breakfast is called a Bloody Mary - Scott Manlin

Might I suggest that you start your company's succession planning process?

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...defended from strong temptations to social ambition by a still stronger taste for tripe and onions." Screwtape in The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

Fuckerberg on Food

LOL, absolutely.

In that instance, the gross-out factor has to be working in my favor.

=R=

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I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

The buy/sell agreement is in place.

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

I, personally, would have bet my house and life savings that he couldn't last two weeks. A month is impossible. I really don't think I could last more than two days unless it was a substantial wager. BUT, the question that most would probably come to after thinking for a few seconds....


Will he be allowed any metamucil?

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We cannot be friends if you do not know the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip.

If it looks like he is going to win the bet, Sonny's Pizza could be your ace-in-the-hole.



Sonny's Pizza
2431 N Western
(773) 772-1092

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Steve Z.
Photographer/Pseudojournalist

"The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook." - Julia Child

Cool! Ron, I like you a lot, but as someone who loves a challenge, I've got to root for your colleague. Thirty-one days of sausage pizza is totally doable (though no dessert will be tough). Is he allowed to take a multi-vitamin? Make sure he gets enough vitamin C!

I agree. A month seems like a gimme for me to win. Metamucil is fine but not in lieu of meals.


Thanks, Steve. I'll keep this in mind and may suggest it innocently at some point, late in the game (if it goes that far).


Multi-vitamins are fine. And I completely understand you rooting for 'the other guy.' In a way, I'm rooting for him, too. If I win, I'll get bragging rights (and some cash). If he wins, he's an instant legend, at least in my book.

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

Ronnie,

Have him come over to my house, I need a new audience for my pizza trials. Ellen is starting to get a bit weary of pizza every third night.

Enjoy,
Gary

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Sauce on the side, always, implied, axiomatic..........never a doubt, BBQ sauce without.

Low & Slow

LOL! I'm envisioning a field trip.

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

If someone else was paying, I believe that I could happily live for a month on Coalfire's meat pizza. So good.

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Ed Fisher
my chicago food photos

RIP LTH.

Boss, can I move my desk away from him for a month?

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Here's how I'd exploit what I see as a loophole. No salad (which he's going to need with all that cheese, fat and carb)...but, it's okay to put raw arugula on top. So, you find some second harvest arugula at Whole Foods or wherever and pile that on top. I understand he's never heard of arugula, but if I was on this kind of diet, and my options were so limited, well, I might just be at a "teachable moment."

Also, "cooked into" is a rather vague term. If I slice apples on top of sausage pizza (which might not be a bad combo), and cook for, oh, 30 seconds, I would still be getting some necessary fiber.

Finally, how about skipping meals? Does he have to eat three a day? I'd minimize pain by fasting now and again throughout the month, maybe even skipping breakfast and just having water.

Overall, this is a cool idea. Sometime, you'll have to tell me what kind of bet you have riding on this.

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“We all have to stand before the kitchen gods.” Chef Jacob Sahaya Kumar Aruni

LOL! David, I'd never make this bet with someone as food-savvy as you.

Yes, he can skip meals and I have a feeling he'll be doing quite a bit of that. As for apples, he'll probably get there. And since chicken sausage is ok, that would pair nicely with apples. I still think 31 days is a long time, although I'm fairly certain I could take the other side of this bet and win pretty handily (if it didn't kill me first ).

Now, I just have to hope he doesn't read this thread!

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

An often shared thought around here!

Regards,

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Cathy2

"You'll be remembered long after you're dead if you make good gravy, mashed potatoes and biscuits." -- Nathalie Dupree
Facebook, Twitter, Greater Midwest Foodways, Road Food 2012: Podcast

I'm loving this challenege. I hope to see his journal entries somehow. Does he have a blog? He is allowed to eat other things at different times of the day right, or not "Any significant caloric intake must be pizza"? But he must eat at least three meals a day of sausage pizza, or skip the meal completely. How is he going to make all of these pizzas? Order out, frozen, or fresh homemade? This guy has to be single right?

sounds like an easy bet for you to win Ronnie.

I dont know this persons dedication, but I bet it doesnt last past 10 days. I really like alot of things, and other than beer I cant think of anything I want to consume daily.

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I got a real good mind.

Before Cotton was King: http://www.grubseeker.blogspot.com

No blog but since we have lunch together nearly everyday, I will try to update the thread regularly with his progress. He's only allowed to eat sausage pizza. Period. I think he'll probably order some pizzas and -- if you can believe it -- he really loves Tombstone, so he'll have that going for him. Other than toast and ramen in a cup, he's never cooked anything in his life, so I doubt he'll be making any pizzas from scratch. I imagine that if he decides to eat breakfast, he'll just re-heat pizza from the night before. A restaurant chef friend of ours told him that he'd hook him up but they're only open for lunch and dinner, so he won't be getting any freshly-made breakfast pizzas via that conduit. Also, he has a business trip coming up. He's already gone on-line and located 3 pizza places that are located right near his hotel. However, if meals end up being part of the trip, he'll have to order pizza or bring his own to the meal, which should be really funny. An associate is joining him, so even though I trust him completely, there will be verification.

And no, he's not single, although after this, he very well may be (especially if he loses, because a decent amount of money is on the line).

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

I hope you're right. I guess it's all about the money because after a few days, the joy of eating pizza should be completely sucked out of him (maybe forever). After that, it'll just come down to how badly he wants it.

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

Is he willing to weigh himself before and after? I'd be curious to see how he does.

169.4 pounds at the moment. Last physical -- about 2 months ago -- BP, cholesterol, triglycerides and glucose were all completely normal.

=R=

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I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

Fascinating. Frightening.

Does the sausage have to be made of meat? (Is soy/veggie sausage permitted?)

Aren't the foods we eat and how we eat them worthy of a bit more respect? Sorry if I sound like Mr. CrankyPants, but I don't get voluntarily turning eating into an ordeal.

Bill,

You do. This is (intended to be) a fun bet between friends. Since it is food-related, I thought it would be of interest to some people here. If it's too low-brow for you, I understand.

=R=

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I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

I think the point is that while it sounds like an ordeal to many of us, it apparently does not sound that way to Ronnie's partner. He is showing the utmost respect for the sausage pizza by proving his devotion in this format.

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...defended from strong temptations to social ambition by a still stronger taste for tripe and onions." Screwtape in The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis

Fuckerberg on Food

You're absolutely right. The entire concept was born out of his fanatical love of pizza. He's fired up and excited.

=R=

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I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

But isn't Ronnie betting that it will be an ordeal?



Look, I get my kicks out of things that many would find incomprehensible. Just count me as one who finds this particular bet incomprehensible. Sorry.

There's no need to apologize.

=R=

_________________
I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I ain't perfect but God knows I try. --Todd Snider

Twitter: ronniesuburban

I hope your partner has very good health insurance. Do you have a crash cart waiting in your office? If he dies within the month does that automatically disqualify him??

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The most dangerous food to eat is wedding cake.
Proverb